Why I Love Marx
I guess I might as well just come out and say it. I love Marx. Julius Henry Marx, to be more precise. The world knew him as Groucho. The other Marx—of the “Karl” variety—well, you can have that Marx.
Born in 1890, Groucho was the third of five sons born to Sam and Minnie Marx. Chico and Harpo preceded him. Gummo and Zeppo followed. Eventually Harpo, Chico, Gummo and Zeppo evolved into the world’s funniest vaudeville act known as the Marx Brothers.
The main reason I like Groucho is because he was a huge proponent of the 1st Amendment—which was obvious every time he opened his mouth. Groucho’s comments never went unnoticed. A few sarcastic remarks of his were taken so seriously by the FBI that he was under surveillance for years. But Commie he was not—unlike Kamerad Karl.
So, whenever I need a witty response to some inane question, I’ll know whom to quote.
The next time someone asks me whether I exercise regularly:
“Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”
The next time I have to explain to someone why we don’t have a TV at the farm:
“I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.”
The next time I’m asked to join yet another organization:
“I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”
The next time I waste several hours at the behest of another:
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
The next time someone says I look older than my 51 years:
“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”
The next time someone says I should write more “popular” books:
“I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.”
And to those who disagree with the opinions expressed on this website:
“Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.”
March 26, 2003
David Alan Black is the editor of www.daveblackonline.com.